The Art of Communication
By
C. Kim Wilkes
Executive Vice President
I recently accompanied my father on a visit with his doctor. As the
doctor was discussing next steps, he told us a story about the most
important thing he’d learned in all of his medical training. He said it
didn’t come from medical manuals, classes, labs, or residency. On his
graduation day a mentor sat him down and said, “The most important thing
in your career will be communication —listening to your patients,
understanding what they tell you, and making sure they understand what
you are telling them.”
Think about how true this is in every facet of our lives. Whether it’s a
superior, co-worker, spouse, child, relative, or the repairman; most
mistakes, arguments, failures, and disappointments come from
miscommunication or simply the lack of communication. Too often, we
think we have communicated effectively and then become upset when the
results are not what we expected. Many times, we are really thinking
about what we are going to say next while the other person is talking,
or we interrupt or get defensive before their comments are finished.
Communication has four pieces to it: 1) the words we choose; 2) how we
say them; 3) body language; and 4) how we interpret and understand the
other person’s message.
Consider how the simple statement, “I need to speak with you,” can be
construed many different ways depending on how you say it and the body
language used. Based on the delivery, the person hearing the statement
can become inquisitive, concerned, anxious, or immediately defensive.
The simple interpretation of six words can lead to unexpected outcomes
or miscommunication, depending on their delivery and receipt.
I feel that much miscommunication in the business world is caused by
people not listening effectively. We jump to conclusions, don’t ask
enough questions, or misinterpret what the person is saying. Remember
the old adage: “God gave us two ears and one mouth, so we can hear twice
as much as we say.”
